Wandering the Fog of "Why?"

Seven questions to light your way

Six months ago, life as we knew it changed dramatically.

For over 25 years , my husband and I had worked side-by-side managing our church bookstore and cafe.

Although our jobs were full-time positions, we rarely worked just 40 hours. There were many, many weeks that we put in 50-60 hours. But we didn’t mind.

Those two businesses were our passion.

Last fall, without warning or explanation, the church laid off my husband and cut my hours by 40 percent.

For several months since then, we were enveloped in a fog of whys.

“Why God?”

“Why now?”

“Why us?”

I began this Substack shortly after our job situations changed. The Lord whispered reassuringly as I wrote. Those whispers have served as guideposts helping me navigate the fog. Most of what I’ve written on Substack details the grief, growth and eventual redemption of the terribly rough season we’ve endured.

Recently, while transferring old files onto my new laptop, I came across a blogpost from around 2007,that deeply affected me. The author was Michael Hyatt, who at the time of this post, was chairman and CEO of Thomas Nelson publishing. The post was about a perplexing trial he experienced when he was took over the reins to the Christian publishing house.

Just as Hyatt was settling into his new role, Nelson’s bestselling author decided to sign with another publisher. This was a crushing blow to Hyatt.

In his blogpost, Hyatt stated that asking himself these seven questions helped him cut through the fog he had unexpectedly been plunged into.

My rediscovery of these questions was a timely gift from God. As I emerge from a nurturing chrysalis of healing and growth, answering the questions gave me an invaluable perspective on the events of the past six months. Every answer provides a different lens with which to view my journey.

If any of you are slogging through an anguishing fog of “whys” during an uncertain season in life, I urge you to answer these 7 questions.

My answers appear below. I pray that your own answers will bring peace, clarity and renewed confidence in God’s deep love for you.

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1. What if this isn’t the end but a new beginning?

When my husband and I were given the sad news regarding our jobs, a long and very sad grieving process began.

However, as the months went on and the pain of loss eased, we could see not just one, but many new beginnings, for each of us.

After a forty-year hiatus, I began to write again. I now post devotionals and personal essays on two different online platforms. My husband is nearly recovered from cataract surgery on both eyes. He has a new side hustle which has is showing steady progress.

My son, who holds a degree in Creative Writing joins me in daily writing prompts. We love comparing notes. He also assists me in editing my devotionals and essays.

My daughter and I now take walks together several times weekly. She has faced some health challenges, and our walks are moving her closer to a better quality of life. Last month, she and I went to the movies together for the first time in 5 years!

2. What if the answer to my prayer is just over the next hill?

From 2005 to 2008, my husband and I were struggling at work. We felt stifled by a leader who had no vision for the ministry we were in. Then one day, I read this very question on Michael Hyatt’s blog. I told my husband, “We can’t leave. What if our answer is just over the hill?”

In 2009, everything changed. The leader of our ministry stepped down and we began implementing the vision the Lord had given us for our bookstore.

For sixteen glorious years, the Lord used our collective gifts to build a thriving ministry that met many, many needs.

When I look back at all the Lord did in 2009, I have the confident assurance that the He has something wonderful for us just over the next hill. He has promised me that the best is yet to come. All I need to do is trust and obey.

3. What if this is necessary in order for me to be prepared for the next important chapter in my life?

The dramatic changes that occurred in our lives were absolutely necessary to prepare us for what God has next. We would have been content to stay exactly where we were for the next ten years, planning only for retirement. But the Lord wasn’t going to let us off that easily. He has bigger and better plans for us.

4. What if God knows exactly what I need at this particular time?

I believe the Lord always knows what each of us needs at any given time.

We needed to be pushed from our nest of comfort and confinement. We were completely consumed with and devoted to the ministry we had given life to. God in His sovereignty, ripped the ministry from our clutches. It was unexpected and quick-like pulling off a band-aid.

5. What if God is speaking to me through means I would not have chosen for a blessing I cannot see?

When God breaks us He tenderly picks up every sliver and shard. He remakes our hearts and the pain we felt gives way to new callings and desires. I never, ever would have chosen for my husband and I to be spiritually brutalized by the church we had given our lives to. The grief was excruciating. But the Lord’s tender mercies were a healing balm.

Jesus gives beauty for ashes. Ashes are the evidence that something has been burned. During my fiery trial, everything that stood in God’s way; pride, security and self were all consumed. However, fear, doubt, and uncertainty were also consumed. What remains is a beautifully complete unshakeable trust in the promises of God.

6. What does this experience make possible?

I now have the power to see that God’s plan is always perfect. I previously saw my life’s journey as a straight road that lie sprawling before me. Every milestone and landmark was within my view. What I could not see was the bend the Lord had placed in my road. That bend had been there, in that precise spot for my entire life. Now, I picture Jesus waiting for me to arrive at that bend with His arms full of the many blessings He has in store for us.

7. What will I be telling my grandchildren that I learned was so valuable in this season of my life?

I will tell them to never presume to know how God works. His ways are not our ways; His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. I will also tell them that God will forever amaze them, with His goodness, His grace, and His expectations of them. Lastly, I will tell them to never doubt that they are eternally, deeply loved and cherished by the King who gave His life for them, the One who constantly and tenderly whispers that we are His greatest treasure 💜